As my husband and I inch towards our first year anniversary, I have learned so many lessons. As life continues to throw its lemons at me, I thought it would be perfect to share some pieces of advice to those out there about to enter this special phase of life. With Wedding Season just around the corner (isn’t it ALWAYS?!), many of my friends are about to enter a new stage in life. Here are a few things I want to share with them (without them thinking I’m some long-winded marriage expert with too many opinions).
Marriage doesn’t change your habits. If you are a dirty person, having a gorgeous new ring isn’t gonna magically keep your house clean. If you’re self-centered, simply having a husband isn’t gonna make you think of his feelings more.
Marriage is more give than take. Yes, there are perks to having your best friend all to yourself, but there will be countless times where you’ll need to exercise qualities you’ve (hopefully) been building up. Patience. Understanding. Forgiveness.
Keeping the romance alive becomes an item on the checklist. Dating was fun. You’d get daily good morning messages and surprise gifts from your boo regularly. You were always on his mind, just as he was always on yours. Isn’t love beautiful? The reality, though, is that marriage comes with struggles. Paying the bills will be on his mind and you’ll be brainstorming ways to make chicken less boring. There will be drama from family, responsibilities you both have to attend to, and unexpected stresses that will test your patience so remaining in sync is something that needs prioritizing.
People in your life will show their true colors, so pay attention. I think this is a HUGE lesson I learned this past year. True friends will stick by you no matter what. If your friends stop supporting you or feeling happy for you, that’s ok. Don’t continue to let their negativity drown out your joy. Don’t mourn something that was causing you stress or pain.
Married people don’t only have to hang out with married people. Don’t drop your single friends after “I do.” That’s just rude.
A marriage goes beyond a day. It goes beyond an Instagram picture. And it goes beyond a fight, no matter how big or how emotional. It’s forever. Life isn’t about your wedding day. Life isn’t about what vacation picture you decided to post on social networking or the number of likes or comments you received from it. And life isn’t about how he went overboard complimenting so-and-so about their cooking when you made the same dish last week and heard nada.
You’ll be making some big decisions and some big mistakes in the future. But it’s okay because you have someone who is falling right beside you! You can pick each other up and maybe even laugh about it soon enough. View the bad decisions as learning experiences and you’ll be ok.
His family is your family and your family is his family. Learn each other’s version of “crazy”. Hopefully, they are similar.
When it comes to making the house a home, remember that both of you will be living there. He deserves a say. (If he has no taste, then let’s just say he deserves *some* say.) Paint colors, furniture style and placement, and decoration choices are things that he may feel strongly about.
He is your future so invest in this relationship. Communicate daily. Compliment him when he deserves it. Compliment him when he doesn’t deserve it. (Honey, if you’re reading this YOU ALWAYS DESERVE IT!). Be kind. Be patient. Say you’re sorry. Don’t ever give up.
Marriage is beautiful. It’s fun, it’s crazy, it’s inspiring, it’s exhausting. Each day is different, but each day is beautiful if you take a moment to look for the good. Don’t be scared of this kind of commitment, but take it seriously.
What advice would you give to all the beautiful Brides-to-be?
Leave your tips in the comment section below!