If you have been following my journey you know that on February 18th I made one of the most important decisions of my life.
I chose to marry the man I love.
It was an important decision, but not a hard one at all. I go to sleep happy each night, and I wake up happy each morning because I have him and God to support me each and every minute. What can I complain about? To go from seeing your best friend for a few days every month and having to take long, tearful trips back home to waking up beside that person and knowing their every move is amazing. Nothing beats marriage when it’s with the right person.
This past Saturday marked one month for us, and as I mentioned last post it’s crazy how time flies! But what’s even crazier is how fast your whole world can change with one decision – one sentence: “I do.” This past month has taught me some valuable lessons. Here are just a few:
1. Though you are One now, you are still two very different people.
Me and my husband have similar upbringings in some ways, and at times think very similarly, but we are very different. And that’s okay. For one thing, he’s a guy. Full of guy habits and guy naiveties. Yes, I pick up his dirty clothes on the daily. Yes, his shave clippings are everywhere I look. Yes, he leaves the toilet seat up. (No, I haven’t fallen in yet.) But for what he lacks in estrogenic modesty, he makes up for in handy-manliness. (Okay, so that wasn’t a word, but it gets my point across..) He’s a hardworking guy with the strongest problem-solving abilities I have ever witnessed. Unless, its a math problem. Then he has me. Understanding our differences makes it easier to keep calm when we don’t see eye to eye or one of us is frustrated or sick.
2. You always have each other for support.
You’ll have good moments and bad ones. You’ll have vacation days on the beach and what-just-happened days on the side of the road. The sky will present a rainbow above you one minute and throw hail at you the next. Life is so unexpected. But saying those two words on your wedding day ensures you a permanent partner to keep yourself emotionally stable and upbuilt. You have a problem? You can talk to your mate. You have a funny story from the day? You have your mate. You have a crazy idea that you are 90% sure is going to fail miserably or leave you in jail? Talk to your mate. And lets hope your mate has more common sense than you, and will talk you down.
3. Sometimes it’s best to be silent.
There are moments that I am with my husband and he says something and I just feel like face-palming myself. Like what did he just say? I probably have actually really thrown my palm to my face. But I am positive he feels the same about some of the craziness I have been guilty of. (Interesting couple, we are.) When that happens, I have learned that if it isn’t going to help the situation or be beneficial in any way, keep it to yourself. Don’t keep everything to yourself, but know that censorship can preserve feelings and relationships.
4. Your relationship is what you make of it.
A very good friend of mine gave me and Justin this advice before we go married, and it echoes in my mind all the time. “Marriage is what you make it.” If you want a hostile relationship full of abuse and silence, so be it. But a warm relationship full of love and concern is just as easy to foster, if you want that. Well, I want that.
A month is literally just a small fraction of what our future will be. We have a long road ahead of us, but something tells me it’s going to pass quickly. Hopefully not too quickly, though. I would love to enjoy my teeth and hair while I still can.
This is only the beginning of forever.